I know I tend to lean more on the side of baby led stuff and have the ability to because we only have one kid, but I still think this applies when we have more. We have task to do as moms, a lot of tasks, and with each kid there are more and more. I get that not every day and every minute can be all about what the baby prefers doing, but something I’ve always tried to do since having MG is respect her. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard ‘she’s just a baby, she’ll be fine’. And yes, she probably would be but I want to treat her like a person too. Even if she is a baby or toddler.
She wakes up some days and doesn’t want to go places, just like we have days where all we want to do is lay on the couch. She has days where she needs to burn energy and play hard, just like we have really productive or fun days. She has times where she just wants to cuddle, be read to, eat more, whatever the case. We wouldn’t expect a grown adult to always be okay with doing things the way we want to 100% of the time and I don’t know why we would expect differently from our babies (who are people, with their own personalities). Yes, there’s parenting involved and I think giving babies what they want all the time isn’t healthy. But I’m not talking about what they want, I’m talking about a need. A need to feel like a real person not just being drug along with whatever we as parents need or want to do that day. Our babies need down time, play time, observation time, and us to recognize when they need different things. I don’t think we can do this perfectly every day or should kill ourselves trying to, but we should consider it.
We should respect their wants as people too. Like I said, I get that sometimes or even most days there are things that have to get done. That’s fine, make an hour that day go to specifically trying to see what your baby wants or needs in that moment and respond. Or plan a day or half day once a week to do their favorites, or be present to figure out what it is that day that they do want. It’s hard to find a balance, and I know I’m a little extreme and new mom about a lot of this but I just really hate seeing kids being treated with the they’ll suck it up mentality, because they have to.
I wouldn’t want to spend every day being told when I was hungry, when I need to sleep- tired or not, when I want to go be social and when I should sit quietly and play. I have moods, they change, everyday is different and I have the freedom to roll with it. Still parent, just consider their perspective, ya know? Sorry for the ramble. First time mom super attachment perspective may or may not make sense!
1 Peter 5:2-3 Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock.